CARING TIMES NEWSLETTER

A family friend’s mother was recently admitted into the hospital.

Let’s call her Esther.

Ester is 85, has enjoyed excellent health and lives in her own condo. Fiercely independent, she wants to live at home.  She no longer drives, but she is mobile and sharp as a tack. Esther’s family helps out with grocery shopping and they pick her up to go to lunch, family events, etc.

Last week, Esther fell.  They estimate she was down for at least 12 hours.  A little banged up; she was admitted into the hospital.

During her hospital stay, doctors and family determined that Esther should not be home alone. And yet, that’s exactly where she wants to be. It’s where she’s comfortable and happy.

She was just moved from the hospital to rehab, for now. It gives the family a chance to explore their options and Esther has access to therapy to gain strength.

These situations are common. They happen every day to families. But when it happens in YOUR family, to YOUR loved one, it’s suddenly a very big deal.

What will happen to Esther? Or those in her situation?

She might be placed into a nursing home:  This would be difficult, because like many seniors, this is her greatest fear. She has maintained her independence for 85 years. It would be her nightmare to lose that.

She might need to live with family/relatives: Again, this would be difficult. Esther is lucky enough to have children who would welcome her, but she would still feel that she was a burden. And she would struggle with that type of living situation.

She could go home: This would be dangerous. Esther is a fall risk; she has reached a point where she should not live alone. She would need a family member to stay with her at all times.

She could go home with companion care: This is probably a solution that could work. And work well. Her family would know that she was cared for, that she’s eating regularly while they are at work and that she’s taking her medications. Esther could remain in her home.

With this type of care, Esther could still feel in control of her living arrangements, she wouldn’t feel she was burdening her family. Her caregiver could help her shower, grocery shop, could run the vacuum for her. And when her family was with her, they could enjoy each other and visit.

Companion care and caregivers aren’t covered by insurance, however many seniors have savings—and can use them for this purpose. Also, family members often help pay for this type of care. With it, they have peace of mind  while they’re at work or tending to their responsibilities, they know their loved one is happy, safe and cared for.

This is why companies such as Taylor Made Home Care are becoming more and more common. Because non-medical home care is a wonderful service for so many who are in Esther’s predicament.

Because we know Esther, my family has talked about the family situation, what the options are available to the family. Because I’ve worked in non-medical home care, have seen this situation every day, I could speak to it. This event started dialog in my family. We talked about how we would handle things.

And that’s a good thing.

Families should talk about their wishes. It’s important to plan for this, or at least know the options so that if your loved one has to make decisions such as Esther and family must make, the best possible decision can be made.

How to know when a loved one needs assistance?

Click here for a blog I wrote last fall entitled “Is your loved one in need of assistance?”

I’m 42, so Alzheimer’s Disease was something to worry about in 30 years. It was on my radar, but with teenagers to raise, a job and bills to pay, it wasn’t a concern NOW…

That was my view, until I met Tricia Vidovic, Eastern Region Education and Outreach Specialist at The Alzheimer’s Association and before I worked for Taylor Made Home Care and saw firsthand how Alzheimer’s Disease affected families every day. 

The Alzheimer’s Association

Tricia works tirelessly  to raise awareness for this disease.  She was recently in Columbus, Ohio for Memory Day 2013. It’s an event that supports those living with Alzheimer’s disease and memory loss, by ensuring that our state legislators support vital programs and that there is funding for Alzheimer’s research. Tricia is a charismatic speaker, who manages to explain the disease in a way that it’s more easily understood.

For example, she has a book analogy. When we are very young children, our book has few pages and our story is just beginning. As we get older there are more and more pages/chapters, far more information in our book. The book is our brain. As we age, there’s simply more information to process and remember.

When I heard her speak earlier this year at Kemper House in Mentor, Ohio, Tricia outlined how the brain works. She also did interactive exercises to demonstrate how we remember information, presented statistics, studies, preventative measures to be taken and what’s in the works. She had flyers, websites and other resources both to offer help to families needing support now. Her goal was also to educate us in how we can help in finding treatments and a cure.

From working at Taylor Made…

I learned that caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease is stressful, emotionally exhausting and expensive . Thankfully, there are a growing number of resources to help; support groups, non-medical caregivers who offer companion care, local councils on aging  that offer such services as Meals on Wheels, local chapters of The Alzheimer’s Association and so much more. At Taylor Made, we provided caregivers, but we always tried to help our families find other resources in the community that might help them.

Alzheimer’s Disease is the 6^th leading cause of death—yet nobody knows its cause, there is no treatment and no cure. And yet, there’s hope.

In the works…

National Alzheimer’s Plan is a huge push to help plan for the future of Alzheimer’s; to not only find treatments and a cure, but to plan for caring for those in our country who are afflicted (and will be diagnosed) with Alzheimer’s.

Legislation: The National Alzheimer’s Project Act (NAPA) requires creation of a national strategic plan to address the rapidly escalating Alzheimer’s disease crisis and will coordinate Alzheimer’s disease efforts across the federal government.

What can we do?

Get involved. One thing I did immediately after meeting Tricia, was go online and sign up to be an advocate. That lets those like Tricia know I’m interested in knowing what’s going on. I’ll get emails on the latest legislation, be kept in the loop and maybe be able to help in some small way.

Walk to end Alzheimer’s in Lake County Ohio on Sunday, September 29, 2013 at Holden Arboretum. (9550 Sperry Road, Kirtland, OH 44094) The event begins with activities at 8:30 a.m., a ceremony at 9:30 and then a walk of your choice. There is a one mile and a three-mile route.

Click here to find a walk in your area.

As I’ve had the opportunity to learn more about this disease, I realized that I need to do what I can NOW to support those mobilizing to research, treat and cure Alzheimer’s Disease.

It seemed a good idea to pass along information and links to websites, so that others can do the same.

And in September, I’ll be at Holden Arboretum doing the Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Lake County, Ohio.

Hiring an Independent Caregiver Can Be More Costly Than You Think.

By: Broward Senior Care

Daily routines can often be overwhelming for seniors and their families. Despite the best of intentions, it may be particularly difficult when friends and family are called upon to provide shopping assistance, transportation, cooking, housekeeping and other chores for their elderly loved ones. It can quickly become apparent that outside help is needed.

Out of desperation you may begin to ask yourself, “what about my neighbor, Julie. I think she did this before. Maybe she’d help out.” In hopes of saving a few dollars, you may hire Julie independently, without the assistance of a registered or licensed agency. Though this may cost less at first, it may prove more emotionally, physically and financially costly in the long-run.

Should You Hire Julie?

So you’re seriously considering hiring your neighbor. You may have lived next to each other for years, but you still need to ask yourself, “How much do I really know about her? Can I really trust this person?” To answer those questions, you should start with a thorough criminal background check. Searching Julie’s name online is not enough. You should check court and public records or hire someone do it for you. If the caregiver will be driving your loved one, it is also necessary to check that the driving record is clean; and that the caregiver is licensed and maintains adequate insurance.

In addition to criminal and driving records, you should check professional and personal references. Speak with the her previous employers. Ask how long she worked there? Why’d she leave? Would you hire her again? During your interview with Julie, ask the same questions. If her answers vary greatly, it could be a red flag.

You Hired Julie… Now What?

Now that you’ve performed all of the background checks, reference checks and personal interviews, you feel that Julie is the perfect fit. After two weeks of working, you both discover otherwise. If personality or work related issues arise, are you willing to begin the hiring process all over again? Or worse, will you do nothing and continue to suffer with sub-par care?

Suppose Julie continues working with you, but then an hour before her shift, she calls in sick. Who will care for your loved one? Julie’s friend that you’ve never met? Your friend who has no experience? Do you have a list of qualified, trustworthy, screened caregivers that you can call on short notice? Or will the task fall on you again, forcing you to lose another day of work.

You may be able to cover for Julie once, but what if she calls out again? What if she starts being late? She starts sleeping on the job and then jewelery disappears? Finally you decide it’s time to fire Julie and she files an unemployment claim. The state may later determine that you were technically an employer and failed to comply with tax or insurance laws. Suddenly hiring an agency looks a lot less expensive.

Why You Should Hire a Homemaker Companion Agency.

Homemaker companion agencies perform extensive background and driving record checks, as well as former employment and personal reference checks. Agencies have highly qualified screened caregivers on call to fill in days that your regular caregiver cant work.

By having this array of caregivers, the agency is also able to meet with you, assess your situation, and match you with a caregiver based on your needs, preferences and personality. Though this assessment will usually prevent problems from happening in the first place, if you are not happy or satisfied for any reason, the agency is able to bring in more qualified caregivers, and all you have to do is call.

Hiring an independent caregiver can work well if everything goes exactly as planned. But it could also become more time consuming, more expensive, and more dangerous than saving a few dollars an hour is worth. The first step to finding a caregiver should be contacting a homemaker companion agency, and then let them handle the caregiving process for you.

Guest Blog Post: Thank you  George N. Aslanian of Broward Senior Care for your insights on The Hidden Cost of Caregiving.

It can also put a senior at risk for one of the most life-threatening and preventable possibilities: falling.

It is not clear whether compulsive hoarding is an isolated disorder, or rather a symptom of another condition, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Understanding Hoarding

Helping people who hoard understand how their problem interferes in living the life they desire can be a powerful motivator, especially as it pertains to being able to live independently. Some suggest the inability to maintain a safe living environment is a reason to consider an assisted living facility. But since an estimated 80% of seniors desire independence, here are some sensitive solutions to help.

• Don’t use judgmental language. Like anyone else, individuals with hoarding will not be receptive to negative comments about the state of their home, their character, or their possessions (e.g., “What a mess!” “What kind of person lives like this?” “This is nothing but junk!”).
• Use motivational language. In communicating with people who hoard about the consequences of hoarding, use language that reduces defensiveness and increases motivation to solve the problem (e.g., “I see that you have a pathway from your front door to your living room. That’s great that you’ve kept things out of the way so that you don’t slip or fall.”)
• Don’t try to persuade or argue with the person. Efforts to persuade individuals to make a change in their home or behavior often have the opposite effect—the person actually talks himself into keeping the items.

When it comes time to sort through the mess, this blog post suggests four steps, including a professional cleaning crew.

Guest Blogger: Today’s blog comes to us from  Assisting Angels Home Care located in Boise, Idaho and might offer some guidance to families dealing with a loved one who might be considered a hoarder.

Have you ever said, “My brother doesn’t believe mom need dementia care” or “My sister insists my mother is fine and I’m just overreacting” or “My brother and sister don’t help out as much as I need them to.”

If you are caring for a parent and have siblings, chances are you have said one of these statements or some version of the above.

As you may already know, being a family caregiver comes with a lot of challenges, disagreements and fights.

A few of the challenges faced by siblings caring for a parent generally entail trying to get everyone to agree on a care plan or simply accepting a parent’s diagnosis.

Factors like distance, sibling rivalries and estranged relationships can make a challenging situation seem nearly impossible to resolve.

What are some of the basic reasons why sibling may not be “on the same page?”

Reason #1-Your sibling is only getting a snapshot of the situation

For siblings who live at least an hour away from their parents or have a hectic schedule, they may find it easier to keep tabs with them via phone. While this is a great way to keep up-to-date with what is going on in a parent’s life, it doesn’t allow for a detailed view of things like cleanliness of home, medication adherence, personal hygiene, etc.

As a result, when they are told by a sibling that mom/dad are not well, a common response can be, “Mom is just fine. I spoke with her yesterday and she sounded okay.”

Should you get such a response, don’t immediately interpret it as a refusal to believe you. Instead, talk specifically about the changes you are noticing with your parent with regard to the home, finances, social life, etc. Doing so can give your sibling a better view of the entire picture and hopefully get them on board to assist.

Reason #2- Your brother/sister may be in denial

Denial, for some adult children, is used as a defense mechanism for a variety of reasons including adjusting to mom or dad’s need for assistance or coping with changing roles.

Fear can also play a huge role in preventing some siblings from accepting what’s going on, and inadvertently create a barrier to assisting with caring for your parents. One of the best things you can do for a sibling you believe is in denial is to give him/her time and space for the change to sink in.

Insisting or arguing with your sibling about who is right and wrong will simply push him/her away.

How much time you give your sibling depends on factors like his/her personality, upbringing, resiliency and relationship with your parent.

Reason #3 Your sibling is not emotionally capable of dealing with the situation

A big part of being a caregiver is the ability to come to terms with what is in front of you and forging ahead with a plan of action. For some siblings, however, they’re unable to emotionally handle such a responsibility. Rather than relaying those reasons to you, they may instead withdraw from the situation and make it appear as if they don’t care.

Barring any past conflicts, sibling rivalries, estranged relationships, etc., you may have to realize that your sibling may not be strong enough to cope with what is going on. Yes, you yourself may not be as strong but since you are the person stepping-up to the plate you need to ask yourself “How much time and energy can I afford to devote to trying to convince my sibling to help with our parent(s)?”

Your answer lies in your response to this question. If you have time to spare and want to spend it trying to convince your sibling why they should be more involved, then by all means go ahead. But in my experience, many caregivers, especially primary caregivers, rarely have time to spare, and if they do I generally advocate that they spend it by taking care of themselves.

Ultimately, caring for an aging parent is difficult and yes we would like to have as many people on deck to help out, especially our own siblings. The reality, however, is that the caregiving role never plays out the way we envision it and for our own health and sanity we have to make wise decisions about which battles we choose to fight.

Guest Blog Post: Thank you Assistance Home Care for your insights on the difficulties and challenges involved in hiring a caregiver for aging family members–and also for the helpful tips that might make the process easier for those making the decisions.

Many at the event were educated on the dangers of sleep apnea–and even current treatment options. I wasn’t one of them! I thought I would pass along what I learned, because it might help others…

Sleep apnea is a chronic medical condition (or sleep disorder) that disrupts a person’s  sleep. Those who don’t treat their sleep apnea might stop breathing hundreds of times in a night, which means the brain—and the rest of the body—may not get enough oxygen.

It only makes sense that the body would be affected by this.

Until I heard Dr. Hivak’s presentation, I hadn’t considered the seriousness of sleep apnea—beyond the frustration of being tired from not getting enough sleep.
Left untreated, sleep apnea often results in a host of other serious health problems; high blood pressure, heart failure, heart attack, irregular heartbeats, stroke. Hormone levels are affected—and that can lead to diabetes. The loss of sleep takes a mental toll, worsening ADHD, depression and bi-polar symptoms. Some studies even suggest an increased risk of cancers.

Everyday activities are also affected. There is increased risk of poor performance at work, motor vehicle accidents and children suffering from sleep apnea often perform poorly in school.

What I found alarming?

It’s possible that many people are being treated for diseases, but not addressing the actual cause of them. For example, a person with high blood pressure might take blood pressure medication, but remain unaware of their sleep apnea. If that person treated their sleep apnea, their blood pressure might be normal–or at least closer to normal.

What can dentists do?

Most of us have heard that doctors and sleep clinics can fit patients with CPAP machines so that they breathe easier while asleep. But I didn’t know that many dentists are also trained to look for symptoms of sleep apnea–and they can create mouth guards that position the lower jaw in a way that opens the airway.

The biggest issue in treating sleep apnea is compliance. Most sufferers find CPAP machines to be restrictive and uncomfortable. What I learned from Dr. Hivak was that there are other options in treating sleep apnea. Options that maybe aren’t commonly explored.

Those who have difficulty staying asleep, whose family members complain about their snoring, or who wake in the morning feeling tired and sluggish should seek help from their doctors, or a sleep specialist. But they can also consult with their dentist for recommendations for treating sleep apnea.

Other Resources…

From WebMD:  Sleep Apnea and Related Health Conditions

Helpful Information: National Sleep Foundation

We gathered at Great Lakes Mall in Mentor, Ohio at 8am to support our local  March for Meals event.

Kathy (Taylor Made’s founder) ordered our group new “Taylor Wear”  for the occasion. We wore t-shirts either embroidered or screen printed with the Taylor Made Home Care logo.

Special thank you to Stich & Screen of Willoughby, Ohio for our apparel. Our new shirts were comfortable, of excellent quality–and we looked great!! We’ll be sporting them at other local events, as well.

Our Banner Carriers…

My teenagers carried the banner out front and they did a splendid job–except for when they tried to annoy each other (trip each other up?) by walking too slowly or pulling on the sign, etc.

(Not that I said  a word to them about their antics, or complained. They’re in high school and they were out of bed, showered and ready to leave the house by 7:30am on a Saturday!!)

The March…

In the end, nearly $20,000 was raised for the Meals on Wheels program that delivers 500+ hot meals each day to our seniors for free.

It truly was great fun! There was live polka music, Chick-fil-A breakfast sandwiches, cookies, prizes and drawings–And we got to take a lap around the mall!!

We were in the company of so many organizations in our community who offer assistance to our senior population and those with disabilities. Our group was happy to have participated.

A  good time was had by all…

Great atmosphere. Great people. Great event. All to support a truly great Meals on Wheels program that’s vital to so many families living in Lake County, Ohio.

Turns out, a lot…

Taylor Godwin of Willoughby, Ohio might be a second grader–but she’s a second grader with lofty goals and an abundance of heart.

She’s participating in Operation Sweet Appreciation, where Girl Scout cookies are sold and donated to our deployed troops so that they feel a little bit of ‘home’ while serving our country. In 2012, Girl Scouts of Northeast Ohio sold over 30,000 boxes of cookies for this cause.

I know how I feel when I spot a troop of Girl Scout’s selling cookies at the grocery store, or when I’m approached by a neighbor to order cookies. Where do I sign up? For those troops who are far away from home, can you imagine their delight when the cookies arrive?

Who can open up a sleeve and NOT finish a WHOLE line of cookies?

There’s just something about Girl Scout Cookies. Everybody looks forward to the annual cookie drive each spring. (Except maybe those who receive shipment of cases of cookies–then must deliver the orders…)  

What makes Taylor so special?

Taylor is small for her age because she suffers from epileptic seizures and Pituitary Dwarfism – which impedes her growth. Yet Taylor doesn’t let her size interfere with her spirit. She’s already sold more than 17-hundred boxes herself and is hoping to sell 2013 boxes. “I wanna prove I’m just like everybody else,” said Taylor.

She works harder than her classmates because she wants to be treated the same.

When I watched the video clip from Fox 8 News Cleveland, I was captivated. There is something magical about this little girl: Click here to see the video from Fox 8 News

When Taylor reaches her goal of selling 2013, she will be named a CEO which stands for Cookie Entrepreneur Officer. Only those selling over 2000 boxes of cookies are honored with that designation.

And there is no doubt Taylor will reach her goal…and likely far surpass it!!

Those wishing to place an order can email the family at: jamie883@live.com

This years event takes place on Saturday, March 9th at The Great Lakes Mall in Mentor, Ohio.

Taylor Made Home Care will be at the mall bright and early–in our sneakers, ready to take a turn around the mall. And to show our support for our local seniors, as well as our local council on aging.  Many of the families we service with non-medical home care rely on Meals on Wheels and its wonderful volunteers.

This event  is vital to seniors in our community who depend on this service for hot meals, delivered to their homes at no cost, by a large group of volunteers. The Lake County Council on Aging coordinates these efforts to feed our seniors each and every day–all year-long.

The Details:

About Meals on Wheels from Lake County Council on Aging’s website:

This program delivers subsidized hot meals to homebound frail and disabled clients on a donation basis. Volunteer drivers deliver these meals around noontime, Monday thru Friday from Council on Aging nutrition sites in Eastlake, Kirtland, Mentor, Madison, Painesville/Fairport Harbor, and Wickliffe.

How to help?

Gather a group of family and friends to walk in the event, make a donation or even stop by to show your support. Those who are interested can find out how to begin volunteering to deliver meals by checking the websites below, or by making a phone call.

For more information on our local event in Mentor, Ohio: Click Here!! 

Or please call: 440-205-8111 ext 226.

For information outside of Lake County, Ohio click on the link below.

Meals on Wheels Association of America: